Infidelity 101

cheating 101, cheaters, cheat

Infidelity 101

There is something a little “off” in the way your partner has been acting lately. You are starting to have suspicions? You may notice that they are spending less time at home, have suddenly become a workaholic, hiding their cell phones or they seem distant. Do you suspect infidelity?

When your spouse is having a cyber, emotional or sexual affair, sometimes the most subtle clues can be signs that signal a destructive secret is hiding beneath the surface.

You may start to wonder if you are overreacting or if you are going crazy. You find yourself asking, “Am I being paranoid for no reason?” If you suspect your partner or spouse of cheating and you feel it deep within your gut then it may be time for you to start paying attention.

Here are some signs that can help you determine  if the sudden shift in your partner or spouse’s behavior indicate cheating.

  1. They lost interest in you, sexually and emotionally.  When you bring up an  issue, they tell you that it is no big deal or that their problem is worse.  When they are home, you feel a lonely void between you. There is less affection and passion.  If you suggest to reconnect you will get the response of “not now babe” or “I am tired.”  If you are still having regular sex, it will seem more like a chore or task than making love.
  2. They are easily annoyed, defensive or argumentative.  When any type of affair has begun, the suspect may want to sugar coat their guilt and justify their affair.  Making them the victim and you the bad guy makes them feel better about themselves. That is why they will blame you for their indiscretions.  The cheater will start to pick fights, push your buttons, and may even accuse you of being the cheater.  Cheaters are excellent at transferring the guilt to someone else. Being angry instantly- or being overly nice- is a red flag.  They are making a reason to leave.
  3. They suddenly want more space and become withdrawn.  Overall, you will notice less intimacy, sharing, and talking.  The cheater may seem zoned out or lost in their thoughts.
  4. They have suddenly become so busy outside of the home environment.  They are not immediately available when you call, text or email them.  There will be a sudden change in their work schedule, where all of a sudden they are working late, has to travel or cannot be reached. Your spouse or partner will become difficult to reach.  They will give you excuses like …”My battery died.” “I have no signal.” or “I am in a meeting.”
  5. They are acting very secretive all of a sudden.  Every time you get near the computer or cell phone they quickly shut it off. They will have Facebook, email accounts or any other social media accounts that you do not have access to.  He/She will receive regular texts, emails, or photos from a “friend” that you do not know about.  When the phone rings, they will ask to be excused to conduct the call in another room. If you ask who called, the answer will normally be … “Work.” “No one important.” “Wrong Number” or “Why do you ask?”
  6. They are spending more time online or on their cell phones.  There is a serious problem if your partner or spouse is spending more time on their cell phones or computer than with you.
  7. They will suddenly become obsessed with their appearance.  They will look, smell and dress better.  They are motivated to work out. Cheating men will change physically.  Their love handles with disappear, their posture changes and their muscle tone/definition returns.  Its the body’s primal way of preparing for courtship- he is ready to attract a mate.  They will start taking better care of themselves and take a lot of pride in their appearance.
  8. People who cheat often lead double lives, and order to do so they must cover their tracks.  They will hide their financial history with you.  Most cheaters will need an untraceable way to pay for things: gifts, meals, hotels, trips, etc.  Refillable credit cards, PayPay accounts, and eBay purchases are all great ways to try and hide large or frequent transactions.


While these signs are not foolproof signs of cheating, a few taken in in combination are sure signs that something may be wrong.  If you need hard proof or evidence contact us at Honey Trap today and one of our case managers will help you get to the bottom of your suspicions.